101 bad jokes

During the last smoke break ZB, RB and I were talking about Pink Floyd. Near the end the strangest, most ridiculous, hideous thought came to me. What if the only way the three of us could catch a Pink Floyd concert is by agreeing to replace the three chorus chicks in white gowns. I’d be all chirpie, ZB would make like a respectable old maid and RB would be just depressed and go on saying “Faggot, shamggot, Bah!” . He didn’t like the idea one bit. He wants to be a ‘light boy’ instead. Thats kinda faggy too if you ask me.

I guess its not that funny if you cant visualize us swinging to the beat in white gowns. And frankly I hope you don’t. Have a look at this instead – http://www.k10k.net/

Scroll down the page and read the comic strips. Click on previous for more. I liked this one the most -

Century

I thought post number 100 would be special but I guess that aint happenning.

Just got this from ZB; Hope you'll like it as much as I did. :D
http://independentsources.com/2006/07/12/worst-company-urls/

Mind Game

This is kinda kool -

http://bengalifob.blogspot.com/2006/08/mind-game.html#links

I'm normal. YIPPEE!! :D

Picture on my wall

I’ve been looking at this picture a lot lately (duh! Its on my desktop). I forgot where I found it. I apologize for not being able to credit the artist, or a source link for that matter.

A friend writes

[Got this letter from an old friend. I should have saved all her letters.]

"The weather was damp with the half moon breathing hard in the sky. The night's long and lonely path caressed by the sweet scent of wind. Glamour shone like a gold in a distant city - all lights shimmering, cocktalls served. The colours of silk and satin glazing.

I felt my own life moving... moving..but the body sat still.

what was life without the need? what was life without the warmth of the black suite glamour? I was watched when it was time to return and could not move. I watched carefully what I was into, I watched - lonesome were the dreadful sweet dreams.

At last I learned to move away limping. The rural setting still too far, i thought i would not fail catching up that slow simple life.

Stuck in the middle - struck by need - my old life screamed and called me names..

I wanted to stop limping. How could I get slow for the old ways? They were aged but I was not! how could opportunity be bigger than the old fashioned dreams?

I took out the peacock feathered notebook from my brown leather bag and started to scribble. Stop screaming my past, stop cursing my present. Just wanted to live. Cant be that hard! Cant be so damned hard! Can't bear the loss.

Needed one line of Nazrul's poem. The green jungle of passion, The questionable thoughts and the strength to become completely drunk by one person's presence.

Catch hold of the time not the gold watch. That my friend is of no use."

A long walk

Had a looong walk today! All the way from Banani to Bijoy Sharani. Probably 7/8 kilos. Why? Don’t ask. Where did I get all that energy after work? I’m not working as hard as I should be. Now, was it fun? It was ok. What did I see on the way? Nothing at all. I guess there was a piece if the sky during the detour through old DOHS. That area is not as crowded as most part either. Add to that the lightness of the head due to starvation. It wasn’t too bad. Met some friends about an hour later in Mohammadpur. Devoured the chaap (deshi steak as Tanm would put it) like a pig. Oh, right! I always eat like that. It wasn’t too bad either. How am I doing? Not so good.

Statement of the day –

“There are a couple of times when philosophy is the least of your concerns. One is when you get food after waiting for it a long time. Another time is when you are constipated.”

Think its no good? Sue me!

Hello!

Yes sirrie! I’ve committed many sins under the sun.
Now the table has turned; Oh! What have I done!

Sigh…my many sins have finally caught up with me. Thinking about all the wonder years of my life; ran free and wild and picked on anybody who’d so much as pick up the phone and say “hi, I’ll call you back later” in the middle of an adda (traditional group chat sessions during which you smoke an unlimited number of cigarettes and drink 5-10 cups of tea;). I dunno what your reputation is. May be you’re the firecracker of your bunch. May be nobody’s pulled one over you and lived to tell the tale. But believe you me, you wouldn’t want to be on the wrong end of the tea stall mod (consisting of a dozen extremely insensitive chick less guys) jokes.

Ma had a heart attach when she saw last months phone bill (good thing she didn’t see the cell phone bills). But that’s not the worst part. Last week I was eating out with my girl and there was a pause and then out of the blue I said, “hello, how r ya?” Well, I thought it was no big deal and then forgot about it. A few days later I was out with my best cousin, his girl and another cousin. The food was good and we were talking about all sorts of things. Then suddenly out of the blue, I blurted out, “Hello!” It freaked me out! I quickly scanned all their faces and it looked like none of them noticed it. Phew! That’s a relief! Think again! I did it again tonight after dinner. And this time everybody made it. Wonder when I’ll do it at work and then I’d have nowhere else to go in this town. Should start packing my bags before they all get here with tar and feathers. :(

PS. This is one lame post! I was advised to do one on the ‘Agriculture of Bangladesh’ instead. Shoulda listened to her.

half of what I say

[found this on goatman's blog]

Half of what I say is meaningless; but I say it so that the other half may reach you.
...Kahlil Gibran
Sand and Foam

Guess you’ll never know

Guess you’ll never know
How much I want to hold you this morning,
Beads of raindrops dangling from the leaves,
Soft sparkles in the eastern light,
To all hearts they bring delight
Except for the one
That aches for you.

Beautiful raindrops, droplets of pearls
What good are they, to me?
When its you I long to see
How sad it will be
To see the moment flee
For I’ve misplaced the key
That once unlocked your heart.

cute stuff

Can someone please translate this for me? *-)

http://mudhadatmulawanah.blogspot.com/

stupid comments

I was just reading Shakia’s blog and I found this post rather interesting -
http://khsh.blogspot.com/2006/08/re-when-frustration-knocks-door.html

Shakia should be proud she’s got a friend who can writes letters like that! A man of good sense no doubt! I am not about to agree or disagree with his arguments opinions on issues concerning the Lebanon war as I don’t know much about it really. (I know I should and I hope my readers will forgive my naivety) However, I found the writers reasoning and logic rather stimulating.

Now I dunno much about anything but I feel like sharing my thoughts about the middle east crisis. These aren’t facts and figures and rather just emotional junk like the rest of my posts. So there…don’t expect much from them. Ok here goes –

A. Does it matter how Israel came to be? May be the West dumped their shame and guilt somewhere else; may be they got their by force, or may be it was meant to be. Thing is generations of Jewish people have born and died on that land now and its their home. They are there to stay.
B. Arabs/Muslims have always been there and are not going anywhere.
C. Systematic extermination of a Muslims or Jews or any race for that matter is not an option these days. Or is it?
D. Is it at all possible for the people of Israel to find peace by making their neighbors miserable? Is that the way a regular Israeli wants things to be?
E. Its obvious people must learn to coexist. How is the ‘enlightened’ West helping the situation by justifying one side’s hostility and condemning the other?
F. Lets get back to the people. What do they want? At the end of the day people don’t want to go on killing and being killed. They want to live, love and raise kids in peace. Wont they be better off if they could use the war funds for something worthwhile? Its obvious terrorism is not looking after Islam’s best interest. The question is, are the funds coming to Israel from all sorts of places, keeping the hate alive serving Israel’s best interest?

Its obvious that the ones who are screaming about the Middle East crisis the most (i.e., the West) are the reasons behind the dreadful situation. About time they left these unfortunate people alone.

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what a book!

Check this book out. Kinda kool.

http://pandorabots.com/pandora/talk?botid=c96f911b3e35f9e1

Nonsense

[Just read it. Loved it. Wanted to share]

Sing a song of sixpence,
A pocket full of rye,
The lover’s in the garden
The battle’s in the sky.
The banker’s in the city
Getting of his gold;
Oh isn’t it a pity
The rye can’t be sold.

The queen is drinking sherry
And dancing to a band;
A crowd may well feel merry
That it does not understand.

The banker turns his gold about
But that won’t sell the rye,
Starve and grow cold without,
And ask the reason why
The guns are in the garden,
And the battle’s in the sky.

- Julian Bell
[Poetry of the Thirties, edited by Robin Skelton.]

Slacking Bloggers

Everybody is slacking these days. Tan hasn’t put up anything in weeks. Nowal is hardly keeping up her reputation. Neither is bodda who didn’t post anything new except for that reposting from another blog. My excuse for not posting – bad weather. Well…so here is my input to break the silence. Oh hell…now it sounds kinda boring. Lets not drag this farther. Just one thing before calling it a night; How many of you have liked the Sound of Music (...like the movie :p)?

monsoon weddings

An old school friend of mine is mad at me because I missed ‘all his wedding parties’. For non Bengali readers (if any), my friend got married only once. Here weddings are a big deal and usually involve three or four extravagant ceremonies. I was invited in three in this case and I managed to miss them all without good enough excuses. Now this friend of mine and I go back a long way so cant blame him for being disappointed. The fact is, I dread this sort of gatherings, especially because there will be a lot of old school friends. Odd eh? But that’s the way I feel.

Its not that I didn’t have many friends at school, in fact it was quite the opposite. Do I have school spirit? Just line up a gang from any rival school from my time and let them take a shot and then find out what happens! What about memories? Hell I got plenty to get nostalgic about; fleeing from the school James Bond style, stealing books from book fairs, getting brutally beaten up by the teachers - got ‘em all! Then I went off to a college where boys from our school have historically been the majority. So why the recent apathy to go to school gatherings?

Well…I don’t know…I guess something changed. For starters folks just don’t seem to be as open anymore, (myself included). Theres a lot more money talk and showing off going on. Then everybody is dressed up all nice and acting all strange. Of course I got a bunch of people in there who I’ve been tight with all along and not like it’s an unpopular bunch either. Still, even the folks I’m tight with, I have somehow drifted apart. The jokes aren’t what they used to be, mine are either too loud or too subtle for most part. I cant really share things about my line of work or other interests with anybody (none of them knows that I write crap). And now a days it seems I forget everything (forgot if my good fiend’s one year old is a boy or a girl) and am too scared to make a fatal mistake. Sometimes friends are bringing in their wives and I, lacking all social graces, don’t have a clue as to how I should behave around them. I mean, if she was a girl friend I guess I could just turn down the volume a bit and try to be funny. But since everyone is acting all grown up and respectable, I am just not sure if that’d be enough.

So for all that and for the fact that I’d have to go home, shave and dress up before going to each of these, I don’t feel like going at weddings. But it looks like there are going to be plenty of these now since people are turning 27 and are in a hurry to get hitched. Somebody tell me what to do. :(

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No redemption for the cursed

So it finally ends. At least I’ve been consistent with my ‘two month’ track record. Well…I guess I cant complaint; got plenty of time for myself now and (much lower phone bills). Just that I had started believing in it...thought this would be the wonderful miracle of my life. Oh well…statistics won over sensations once more! LoL! So much for broken hallelujah. :D

In my sleep

Sleep’s been chasing me all week.
I’d like nothing better (than)
To giving in;
Let it work its magic,
Let it take over my senses
As the eyelids grow heavy.

This one is a gentle lover
Never rushing me
Through phases
Taking its time,
Pouring in – little by little,
Letting it all settle.

In my sleep I’m going places
Back and forth and beyond.
Am gazing at the horizons,
Remaining ever far.
Never did venture out
- The thought’d sometimes occur.

In my sleep she comes to me;
Her voice rings so true!
In my sleep I see all colors
Even the pinkish hue.
In my sleep I see all colors
Except the shades of blue.


Sleeping Gypsy (Rousseau, 1897)

such a perv!

During the last weekly conference call at work, something caught my ears. I heard someone say - “he is dating all the fags comin”.

Of course no such thing was actually being discussed in the meeting. What she actually said was – “he is updating all the FAQs coming in”.

Somebody tell me theres still hope for me. Will ya? :$

world history

Well…here is something I found while cleaning up the PC. A lot of crap talk as usual. Do yourself a favor and stop here.

I have been reading this book on ancient history of the world and all sorts of ideas ‘ve bubbling in my head. Wipe that frawn of your face my friend I aint trying to pull anything here. It’s a book written for children but as you can see, I can not very well try to bite anything harder than that cause I don’t want to start using dentures right away. So three cheers for baby food! Anyway I’ll try to cut the crap and get to the point, if there is one.

Like I said the book was on ‘ancient history’ – it started from the time a bunch of nutty apes made the world’s first nutcrackers. Then it goes on to people farming collective lands and then they had enough tools to work on separate pieces of lands on their own and it all started at about then. There were good lands and bad lands and good yields and bad yields and good luck and bad luck. Soon some of the people had less than they needed and some had a little bit more than they could use. Long story short, after a while there were kings and slaves on this world. And oh yes there was always the middle class.

Now, it has been a while since people had learnt to farm lands and we havn’t been sitting idle. Many a great fights been fought, pyramids built on slave labor, tragedies and comedies staged, charters signed, martyrs crucified, genocides committed and freedom lost and found. People lost hope once in a while and prophets came from Gods to light a candle or two to lead them on.

With all things going on for hundreds and thousands of years, repeating themselves every now and then, a few things have been consistent throughout. People will practice unimaginable cruelty to get other people work for them – some form of slavery always exists, slaves will try to break free – although most men would rather make like a sheep and graze and bleat and make a fuss just before being slaughtered at the alter, some will go on and try to ‘change the system’ or bring about the ‘kingdom of god’ or establish communism or heal the world – something along that line. And in most cases, most of these rouge elements will be eradicated, using excessive force. Sometimes things go bad and tables get turned. Songs get written, monuments are erected, martyrs are honored and it looks like things are gonna get better this time for sure.

Now, we all know these why make such a fuss about it? It is because things are getting a little crazier every day and I along with other sheep in my herd am getting a little nervous and would like to blow off some steam by bleating as I please.

Lets face it friends, the world is small. It doesn’t have enough for all of us to live in luxury. We are too many! We would probably all have enough to eat if we could break the bread evenly but I guess that’s just asking too much. Its been tried more than once and it never really worked. Did it? Now it all gone bad and its time to set something up afresh. Christians are busy cleaning houses, Jews are busy counting bits and pennies, Muslims are too mad to figure anything and the communists are snoozing on Russian vodka and curing on the great American dream boat. What can we start anew?

Theres just not enough time to start anything! Not like people aren’t having a go at it. But we are too many and its just not that easy to get five sheep bleating the same tune. We are too many, too little to eat and too little time.

I say lets send more rockets to mars. See if we can send enough slaves there to work the fields. After the 1st generation have slaved away and died, may be the next generations will get to dream a little great ‘Martian dream’. And when theres another world to grow food on, love and plunder. We would get a few years of peace and harmony and we’d be nice to our neighbors, respect our elders, respect people’s rights and shit in both worlds. And then the war of the worlds can begin.

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headless chicken run

As tanm would put it, I’ve been quite the headless chicken lately, bumping into things, toppling over stuff and all. My minds a blank; dunno what I ought to be thinking about. It takes you years to get into a lifestyle and then zoom! You gotta change into something else! How easy is that?

The brothers want me to watch movies with them.
My gal wants me on the phone.
My boss wants me to come to the office on time.

What of the stuff that I was supposed to read?
What of moving to Canada?
What about the things I was supposed to write?
What of the lady with the radiant smile?

I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore. Gotta see this through.

Meanwhile the worlds been spinning.

ZB’s been on a run. See all sorts of neat stuff on his space.

So is tanm – great posts man!

Nowals been falling down, bumping her head and cutting off her hair. That child is up to no good I tell you. It’s a good thing she’s still posting.

Oh well…its all good.