Sunday, October 22, 2006

nothing but wall

Distant voices, I call out to thee.
Flashlight beams, keep me blinded
Through the days that come and go
And I keep on running to and fro
Feeding, nesting, scaling doors,
Doin stupid math and silly chores.
Lost in traffic I just wont see
That space in the picture that coulda been me.

But when the days keep you out
And theres too much hiss ‘n shout
And then suddenly they all make sense
- I get what they’re about.
I wonder if they all were true,
Wonder if you knew them too,
Did you ever think you’d bet on ‘em?
‘n paint the cows blue?

Monday, October 09, 2006

weird world

Lately, everybody’s been complaining that I make things way more complicated than they have to be. I get weird things better that way, but I spoil the fun in more obvious things.

This weekend I went to shoot pool with an old friend. Its been a while since I played and I was sure I’d suck at it. Oddly enough, I made most of the shots with complicated angles real easy. Trouble is I missed most of the simple ones (ok…so I lost most of the games). My friend tells me that I play exactly like me, that is, I am no good at it, if things are simple.

Then at work a coworker asks me a simple question and I give her all sorts of explanations except for the answer she was looking for. She loses her patience and tells me to relax and take it easy. She tells me the same thing – “Take things simple for once”.

The same is happening to more serious relationships. “Stop guessing. Don’t try anything. Stop talking.” – I need to learn all that.

I suppose I really need to fix a couple of things about myself. I will be doing the best I can. Just that I cant help but feel mad at the world at times. I didn’t start looking for angles just like that you know; I did not invent them. They were just there I suppose. Can I help it if I learnt them the hard way and then saw the same patterns in other things? Can I help it if most of the hunches turn out to be true? Is it my fault if the system works for years flawlessly and then suddenly the world becomes perfect? The angles jumped me when I didn’t know them. I didn’t complain. Figured that’s the way things are and moved on. I tried my best to keep things straight. Kept my distance where the angles weren’t right. Things worked! Now the world decides to change without a notice? How dare it??