Tuesday, January 30, 2007

I am what I am??

‘I am what I am’ – saw this stuck up on a car window this morning. Think it’s a slogan from a sports product. Catchy no doubt. Does it work outside product marketing? I mean for real? Who knows!

I am what I am. Sure! So what am I anyway? I guess the line is for people who have already worked that out. Great! They’ve done a lot if you ask me. Well then…may be its not that big a deal. You just look into the mirror, stand up on a scale, look at your grade or performance index at work, talk to some people and you know. Ok. So you know what you are. Now its nice to accept yourself for whatever you are. So you are a grotesque looking thing weighing 400 lbs who is selfish and mean and like to kill people for the heck of it. But that’s what you are and people should accept you that way? No freaking way my fucked up friend. Get your act together before we have to can you. Its that simple.

We hear so many things these days. Everywhere you look there is a sign. From Coca cola to boka pola everybody has a philosophy. Just that nobody really believes in any of it. Where is the time anyway. Just shake your booty if the tune is catchy and sing along and then say “cheer up dude! Lifes too fucking short; enjoy every moment of it.” Well…tell you what brothers and sisters. I’m just as ‘fun loving’ as the next guy out there. But I’m telling you. We got it wrong somewhere.

Well…do I have something concrete? Well…just this – you cant be enjoying ourselves if the people around us aren’t. Life…its just not living only for yourself. You gotta do the right thing by you and by everybody else. You cant take things for granted. And you gotta make 10 people around you happy. That doesn’t guarantee your own happiness but you still gotta do it. Too damn hard? Well nobody says its gonna be ez. But we just gotta pull it off somehow. At least I’m sure you can. (y)

Sunday, January 28, 2007

just hitting the keys

Got so many things to blog about. Things been happening. I could write about the ‘holy crap’ that’s been coming to my mind. You know, its one of those times when you get to thinking you have finally figured it out – what the holy people had been saying, the divine plan, you place in it and the mischief of the dark one. That doesn’t make you John the Baptist, but you feel good somehow. You find a reason to bet on goodness, Godliness. You need only to look inside you and you find him there and he is all the things the holy books said he’d be. Merciful, forgiving, everlasting. To all the holy men who have walked this Earth, spoken to us words of wisdom and eternal salvation, bled and endured and died, Thank you all.

I also wanted to write about the letter I got from an old friend of mine. He has always been true to his heart. Hope it finds some one to give it to one of these days. The letter came with a present – was rather moved by the gesture. You cant believe how nice the guy really is; he even added an apology in the letter for not having a good enough taste to buy good gifts for people. The thing that he went into a store, looked at a thing …and wanted to get it for me…its amazing really. We should be thankful for the few good friends we pick up along the way. I dunno if I will ever be able to get big enough to return the gesture. But I’m sure as hell he’d never expect anything in return.

Finally the depressing news – Nowal shut down her blog. No more brown baby. You know, in life you come across places that you like to drop by from time to time, places that makes you feel good. Could be a lonely corner of a park, a decent coffee shop, a comfortable chair in a bar or a web page. They become a home to you without you knowing it and you take ‘em for granted. Then …they get closed down, shut down or something like that and you cant go there anymore. I dunno…it can hit you harder than you think. I’m sure a hell lot of people out there feel the same way about spazzedme. To all the pricks who made her do this – FUCK YOU ALL.