Monday, July 31, 2006

world history

Well…here is something I found while cleaning up the PC. A lot of crap talk as usual. Do yourself a favor and stop here.

I have been reading this book on ancient history of the world and all sorts of ideas ‘ve bubbling in my head. Wipe that frawn of your face my friend I aint trying to pull anything here. It’s a book written for children but as you can see, I can not very well try to bite anything harder than that cause I don’t want to start using dentures right away. So three cheers for baby food! Anyway I’ll try to cut the crap and get to the point, if there is one.

Like I said the book was on ‘ancient history’ – it started from the time a bunch of nutty apes made the world’s first nutcrackers. Then it goes on to people farming collective lands and then they had enough tools to work on separate pieces of lands on their own and it all started at about then. There were good lands and bad lands and good yields and bad yields and good luck and bad luck. Soon some of the people had less than they needed and some had a little bit more than they could use. Long story short, after a while there were kings and slaves on this world. And oh yes there was always the middle class.

Now, it has been a while since people had learnt to farm lands and we havn’t been sitting idle. Many a great fights been fought, pyramids built on slave labor, tragedies and comedies staged, charters signed, martyrs crucified, genocides committed and freedom lost and found. People lost hope once in a while and prophets came from Gods to light a candle or two to lead them on.

With all things going on for hundreds and thousands of years, repeating themselves every now and then, a few things have been consistent throughout. People will practice unimaginable cruelty to get other people work for them – some form of slavery always exists, slaves will try to break free – although most men would rather make like a sheep and graze and bleat and make a fuss just before being slaughtered at the alter, some will go on and try to ‘change the system’ or bring about the ‘kingdom of god’ or establish communism or heal the world – something along that line. And in most cases, most of these rouge elements will be eradicated, using excessive force. Sometimes things go bad and tables get turned. Songs get written, monuments are erected, martyrs are honored and it looks like things are gonna get better this time for sure.

Now, we all know these why make such a fuss about it? It is because things are getting a little crazier every day and I along with other sheep in my herd am getting a little nervous and would like to blow off some steam by bleating as I please.

Lets face it friends, the world is small. It doesn’t have enough for all of us to live in luxury. We are too many! We would probably all have enough to eat if we could break the bread evenly but I guess that’s just asking too much. Its been tried more than once and it never really worked. Did it? Now it all gone bad and its time to set something up afresh. Christians are busy cleaning houses, Jews are busy counting bits and pennies, Muslims are too mad to figure anything and the communists are snoozing on Russian vodka and curing on the great American dream boat. What can we start anew?

Theres just not enough time to start anything! Not like people aren’t having a go at it. But we are too many and its just not that easy to get five sheep bleating the same tune. We are too many, too little to eat and too little time.

I say lets send more rockets to mars. See if we can send enough slaves there to work the fields. After the 1st generation have slaved away and died, may be the next generations will get to dream a little great ‘Martian dream’. And when theres another world to grow food on, love and plunder. We would get a few years of peace and harmony and we’d be nice to our neighbors, respect our elders, respect people’s rights and shit in both worlds. And then the war of the worlds can begin.

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headless chicken run

As tanm would put it, I’ve been quite the headless chicken lately, bumping into things, toppling over stuff and all. My minds a blank; dunno what I ought to be thinking about. It takes you years to get into a lifestyle and then zoom! You gotta change into something else! How easy is that?

The brothers want me to watch movies with them.
My gal wants me on the phone.
My boss wants me to come to the office on time.

What of the stuff that I was supposed to read?
What of moving to Canada?
What about the things I was supposed to write?
What of the lady with the radiant smile?

I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore. Gotta see this through.

Meanwhile the worlds been spinning.

ZB’s been on a run. See all sorts of neat stuff on his space.

So is tanm – great posts man!

Nowals been falling down, bumping her head and cutting off her hair. That child is up to no good I tell you. It’s a good thing she’s still posting.

Oh well…its all good.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

What a wonderful world

There are all sorts of ways of spending a weekend. You could watch movies all night and sleep through the next day. Then you could go out with people to have fuchka (a local delicatessen). You could also spend the day with your girl. Or may be you don’t do any of that and just lay back and stare at the wall all day (that’s a good way! Trust me!). But none of them was good for me. Noo! I am too good to be spending my time like that! Serves me right!

The plan wasn’t too bad. My lady had to finish a report, so I figured I might as well follow the family who’d gone to spend the weekend in a tea garden in Sylhet. It started decently enough; we got there at around 4 am in the morn. The tea estate was way more than what I expected! People, you should all try to spend a coupla days in a tea garden. We watched the sun come up behind the hills from the veranda. The light and the clouds made all sorts of pretty pictures in the sky. Then we went for a walk. I just can describe how beautiful it was so I aint even gonna try. I’ll just make a list of things there – lots of trees (duh!); streams of running water with fish running about to and fro; wooden bridges, wet grass after the rain; pretty little hills; squirrels; natural water fountain and the sandy tub of crystal clear cool water, sigh…I shoulda known it was too good to be true.

Right after breakfast the senior citizens shooed us into the car and drove out to see…ROCKS! A four hour trip in a hot sunny day to see ROCKS! Aint that a brilliant idea! And ROCKS we saw! There were rocks on the ground, rocks on the river bed, rocks piled up here and there, rocks on boats, people carrying rocks, big rocks, small rocks, medium rocks, rocks of all size and colors. It ROCKED all right! Hell!

Then we were on the way back. We, the guys, was beginning to hope that we’d get back in time to catch the sunset, may be even get to explore the area a little more. Sigh…men proposes and God disposes. Here God being a woman of course. The gal cousin, the only one, suddenly remembered she had her mother’s, uncle’s someone living in the area. The senior citizens asked us if we wanted to go. We said NO. So they decided to GO! Now the cousin’s mother’s uncle’s someone happens to work in a ‘famous’ manure oops, sorry, fertilizer factory. The senior citizens just couldn’t think of passing the chance to get a tour of the facility after social chit chatting for one hour. I guess we should be thankful for the opportunity! DAMN!

So we went to the manure, sorry, fertilizer factory. (note: it actually has nothing to do with dung or any of that; the stuff is made from Calcium Carbonate) Was greeted by a strong stench of Ammonia in the 1st corner. Then there was the scary powerhouse and the rest of it. Then there was the place with the thousand fountains spraying water towards the sky, too keep the powerhouse gizmos cool it seems. Saw huge cylinders spinning with attached hammer like things drumming on it. (Made quite a beat I must say, tan would probably make a tune out of it). Saw tubes and pipes fuming with, hot, hissing stuff. Then saw the white powder stash that looked like huge scoops of ice cream. They made us go into the powerhouse, which was really hot inside and made a horrific noise. Its amazing why I did not go deaf permanently. Wasn’t a total loss; I got to fulfill one of my age old fantasies which happens to be reciting all the nice and decent curses I know, on top of my voice, in the presence of the elders. Yippee! When that was done I really didn’t see any point in taking the punishment anymore so I walked out.

Just as I was coming out of the facility, I looked up at the sky and wow! Double rainbows! Full half circles! Right there! The biggest the most distinct ones I’d ever seen. So I guess the day wasn’t a total loss. So what if most of it was shitty and your gal tells you later that she did not need the whole day and could make a few hours to hook up; so what if on your way back the little goat you had cuddled decides to jump in front of the car and end it’s life and your cousins make sick jokes about it. I still got the rainbows…

Somewhere…over the rainbow…way up high…

[my cam is acting up again. I will get some pictures from my uncle and put ‘em in here later]

Israel Kamakawiwo - Somewhere Over The Rainbow

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Saturday, July 15, 2006

To My Name

Tonight I celebrate
My life, my name
Although I got nothing
No fortune, no fame,
Just another face in the crowd,
A pawn in the game,
But tonight I’ll raise my cup
And drink to my name.

You are too many; I wont ever win.
You’ll break me down; down to smithereens.
I’ve been bruised and battered.
Too many dreams been shattered.
But you couldn’t get me out.
Am still in your game.
So tonight I’ll raise my cup
And drink to my name.

Against the odds I played my cards;
Still am playin…
Against the tide I sailed my ship;
Still am floating…
Against the wind I chose to run;
Still am runnin…
And tonight I’ll raise this cup
And drink to my name.

Against The Wind, Bob Seger
[Download] [Lyrics]

Shine On You Crazy Diamond

Remember when you were young,
You shone like the sun.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Now there's a look in your eyes,
Like black holes in the sky.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
You were caught on the crossfire
Of childhood and stardom,
Blown on the steel breeze.
Come on you target for faraway laughter,
Come on you stranger, you legend, you martyr, and shine!

You reached for the secret too soon,
You cried for the moon.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Threatened by shadows at night,
And exposed in the light.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Well you wore out your welcome
With random percision,
Rode on the steel breeze.
Come on you raver, you seer of visions,
Come on you painter, you piper, you prisoner, and shine!

- Shine On You Crazy Diamond, Pink Floyd
[download the song]

While searching for Syd’s paintings and drawings I came across an interview of his nephew. I wasn’t interested at first but now I’m glad that I went in for a peek. It was nice to know that Syd did not spend his last days in some asylum in vegetative state, that he found joy in his paintings, books and studies.

“he is definitely starting to find a sense of contentment that has eluded him since his breakdown. He is happy to just potter about at home; watching television and doing a bit of painting or reading. Having a conversation with Roger is not the same as one with most people as he DOES have quite a strange and fragmented way of speaking; so everyday thing come out sounding quite abstract; but it all has it's own internal logic and it's just his way of expressing himself. If people still want to think that Roger is this wild lunatic he was supposed to be in the Sixties ( even though I'm sure much of this was complete invention ) then they are welcome to ; but I feel that this is a disservice to his contribution to Music and him as a human being and is also a very lazy way to view the situation. What really makes me sick about the media attention of Roger's career is the way he is written off as a 'madman'- a rock genius who was just such a 'crazed madcap' that there is no need to worry about the extent of pain and anguish he went through in the years directly after the band became successful. Without going into details I don't think people are prepared to understand the true extent of Roger's breakdown or the pressures he was put under.”
[Set The Controls Interviews Ian Barrett]

A couple of links –

Thursday, July 13, 2006

the toon me

Its about time I put this in here. ZB did it. Real good job too if you ask me. Wonder why he ‘likes’ me so much. Well here it is –

This is what I really look like when I’m hit by a satellite, run over by a truck and then poked in the eye by a crow. A striking resemblance! Don’t you think? Hats off to ZB! Will have to repay the debt someday.

Btw…I think most folks here already know how to upload videos and stuff. The ignorant ones, like myself, will probably find this helpful. None of them really helped me cause I'm using an swf and no one is worried about as simple a format as that. I just needed to keep the file somewhere and hotlink it. Took me all night to find a site that lets you do that. Thanks to I'm finally going to bed. Cionara!

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

crap talk

Cant seem to shake off the stained ‘rusty feeling’ from ma mind. Its like the mind goes numb and dumb and you don’t even dare move the muscles in your brain cause it feels like they’d blow apart into tiny li’l pieces and get scattered all over the place. Not that it’d b too bad but you cant help worrying u’d have to get up and clean the mess yourself. So what do you do? You just sit and stare at the walls (guess what was on it) – not for hours but for the few minutes that you have in between jumping from one thing to another on the to do list. Not like the list makes any sense or getting you anywhere but its there, for the heck of it and right now its too scary to think about what really needs to be in it.

Things been happening. My world has changed in more than one way. Been complaining about the ‘same ol routine’ and now it feels real odd to be out of it.

Spend the weekend in a different way. Took a friend out to catch a show (a drama) with the cousins. Wasn’t much of a show if you ask me. I am all for loud humor but they’re all good. I’d say the whole thing was rather amateurish; like kids having the run in school plays. But what do I know! It was their 500 th or 1000 th performance, so there.

Been spending too much time on the phone like a teenager. Word of wisdom – it wont be the same, no matter how hard you try. Its not your fault; its just not your time. But then again…you do need to do stuff once in a while. Got to take someone out on a dinner. And it went rather well too. Love the fact that she’s rough around the edges and not a show off smoker (a real deal). Did I mention she’s cute? Just wish I had the energy to keep up with her.

Rudra in the middleRudra left for Australia on Monday. Fucked work and met at NSU for the last time. (there’d be other times but those’d never b the same) For a coupla hours it was just like old times. Rounds of smokes and tea and crap talk. We had a good run at the uni. We were the tea stall gang the cools avoided, the cultured dreaded, wannabe’s pitied, and losers envied and the average liked. (Come to think of it strays made the gang) We had little in common except for the fact that we all ate like pigs and acted like ‘em too. Of course we were chickless for the most part but it wasn’t too bad. Yep! Had it real good while it lasted. And we wouldn’t have it half as good without Rudra.

Ever met anyone who’s never boring? Never has a bad day and would never talk about his personal crap? Who never smokes, or drinks or talks about sleeping with chicks and is still popular all around? The guys knew everybody and everybody knew him. Everybody’d confide in him and he’d put it on national TV the next minute and it’d still be all right. He’d never say a kind word or any of that ‘I’m here for you’ crap when you are down. But you know you can count on him when craps going down. He’d let macho men and tough guys talk big and let ‘em get away with it. If they only knew where that guy’s been to. LOL!

So we hang around NSU for a coupla hours and we went our ways. No fancy good byes. “Ok then…later”. – and that was that. Whats their to say? We’d keep up in msn? Kheks.

So long brother! See you soon.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Ismail Shammout - artist, activist, humanist

To Where..?

I’ve been reading about Ismail Shammout - artist, historian, activist, and compassionate humanist in umkahlil’s blog. The great Palestinian painter passed away on the 3rd of this month. May he rest in peace.

Umkahlil quoted this poem by Tawfiq Zayyad as a tribute to the late artist –


I never carried a rifle
On my shoulder
Or pulled a trigger.

All I have
Is a lute’s memory
A brush to paint my dreams,
A bottle of ink.

All I have
Is unshakeable faith
And an infinite love
For my people in pain.


I work with this guy. He is the coolest, most creative SOB I’ve ever came across. Read his stuff. See his artworks. You’ll know what I mean. Praise him, curse him, worship him.

PS. He is also the most insensitive, sarcastic, heartless bastard I have come to know. Hell of a guy!