Thursday, August 27, 2009

a wonderful something

[Where and how to begin?
just so much there to say
And as declared, in my last confession
Its rather difficult these days, to hold it together
Yet, I must make an effort, I must…
Cause this,…this…’thing’… its…
Well its driving me…
Heck! That’s no good. I’ll start afresh,…
Don’t know where to begin
There’s so much I want to say]

Its not a mad passion burning up the soul
Or a craving of the flesh
Or a timid plea for love, Its not!
Its something more…subtle.
Something that actually spreads
When the alcohol wears off
Its something quite unlike I’ve ever known.

‘Love’ and ‘Lust’ and ‘Passion’
- these words I now dread
For they now stand in my way
Conspiring against me
Not letting me speak my heart!
They want to creep into my mind,
Tie the tongue into a knot,
And make it spit out foolish, meaningless words
(as they have done on so many occasions in the past)
But this time, I wont let ‘em!

For now its sanity I seek,
clarity I crave,
a cold hard slap I want
to snap back to reality
to clean up the cobwebs in my mind
to take the load off of my chest
And to untie my tongue
So that it can ease into the truth
And the truth, my dear, is quite simple…

I’m having trouble accepting
That its done
That I wont ever really know u
And accept the fate of strangers,
passing each other by on a supermarket isle
- one quick glance, and then moving on.
In all fairness, why should it not be so?
After all, what is there to expect?
A couple of more chance encounters?
Exchange of polite greetings?
And ‘friendly’ smiles?
(O how I hate that word!)

And that’s just it! I expect nothing!
I want nothing!
None of those dreaded words
(and of course not the silly one I so regret!)
But it still bothers me
More than it should
That I wont ever really know u.

Cause u see, I’ve seen but very little
(and understood even less when I did)
But now that I’m sober,
and am thinkin it over
Its all so clear to me!
(Never thought I’d say that!)

I see myself for what I’ve been
A fake!
A poser and a loser
A clever vender of catch phrases and clich├ęs
While you’ve been true all along!

You held your wine well
And anybody could tell
You’re as sharp as u r pretty
As modest as you’re witty
But kind to a fault!
(While you endured all my BS and let it slide!)

But even so, I cant but hope
That those bright, deep eyes
(despite the influence of wine and martini)
saw something in there too
something that your perhaps recognized,
something that you knew
from a story in your book,
the pictures on your wall
the dreams you’d chased
or the demons you’d called
I don’t know, what it is…
And it sucks that I never will

Pro(baash) Jibon(?)

Aneek
ami friday sondha thke vabi der sahate boisha gibot kora suru korbo

Adit
Baal!
ekhono korish nai?
baicha asos kamne?


Aneek
ses hobe sunday sondhay
amar sara bochor er routine boli....

mon- friday bikal porjonto fataiya kamla dei
friday sondha- sunday bikal bengali gibot
ere 52 dia guun de

Adit
lol
valoi to
maal e boshar lok pas nai?


Aneek
ei khan e aisha notun exp. hoise... biatta gula irretating... bachelor gula aro beshi

Adit
bura bachelor na changra bachelor?


Aneek
sobai

Adit
lol
valo


Aneek
bachelor gula khali koy tk kamay, rate koto eigula nia kotha koy

Adit
mejaj beshi kharap joile hal maal khaya dekhte parish
majhe moidhdhe
mood valo thake


Aneek
sei try obosso kori nai.... but asar por deshi gular upor birokto hoya ausiee howar chesta korsilsm

Adit
ki hoilo?


Aneek
posay nai..... ami deshi gavi... din ses e ghas na khaile pet kharap kore

Monday, August 03, 2009

When people speak of great men

"When people speak of great men, they think of men like Napoleon - men of violence. Rarely do they think of peaceful men. But contrast the reception they will receive when they return home from their battles. Napoleon will arrive in pomp and in power, a man who's achieved the very summit of earthly ambition. And yet his dreams will be haunted by the oppressions of war. William Wilberforce, however, will return to his family, lay his head on his pillow and remember: the slave trade is no more."

- from the movie Amazing Grace