placebo

Well, it can’t wait no longer. God knows I’ve been doing my best to get away from it. Been putting it off, dodging them all – the voices in the head, the dancing snow flakes in the air, the bitter cold rain, the occasional sunlight, the morning window and the whispers at nights, all of it. Somehow managed to get by and put myself to sleep and get away but never really got away in the end. It’s a disease of sort. Don’t know why I got it but I know that there is no cure.

This is a thing that I wont ever loose, won’t ever get over, won’t ever be rid off. It will always find me, every time a little bit more off guarded, a little more unprepared, a little less in control. And won’t ever fully learn to live with it. Can’t ever master it; it’ll master me instead. And it will keep coming. I got no choice but to obey (Shoulda been the other way round. Eh?). So there, no use trying to put them on a leash so I will just let them run free.

First there the man. The sickly, worm eaten, hollow shell of a man. Then that all changes, the man changes, he becomes, evolves into something better, stronger, more perfect. A shadow keeps turning up around the bends…that’s him, that is more than him and that will never be him and it all starts to come together. He is becoming…

Then somewhere a dam breaks and theres a flood of moonlight, night wind, daylight, poison gas, alcohol, smoke, memories, memoirs, obituaries, poems, stories, street signs, highways, landscapes, pictures, dreams…words…words…

The girl is the orange dress with big beautiful eyes…. Her face lit up with the light of a thousand stars… Her lips slightly partnet…eager…anticipating…waiting…Her body slowly melts…

A young man standing on a village path, looking in wonder and amazement, - there is beauty everywhere…all around…and then the night sets in

The boy wakes up and sees it raining outside the window,…raindrops humming on the CI sheet roof, the smell of wet earth and smell of freshly baked bread…he goes back to sleep…