The 5 stages of grief

http://mt.essortment.com/stagesofgri_rvkg.htm

Anybody got any idea how many times one can loop in these for one reason and for how long?

bad show

“House is the best TV show ever!”
“No beating Desperate House Wives”
“Desperate House Wives eh?”
“Yeah that’s what I said.”
“kheks”
“You got something in your mind?”
“Oh not really…am just wondering…”
“What??”
“That’s a lot of estrogen”
“What???”
“You know…estrogen….chick hormone…theres must be a lot of that in your system”
“Huh?”
“One has to be at least half a chick to like that show”
“So I’m a chick??”
“lets just say you are very much in touch with your ‘feminine side’”

HAHAHA lets take a picture of this. HAHAHAHA …you guys crack us up! Lets have another round. Cheers!

“Whats wrong with the show?”
"Nothing is very well made”
“Then what are you babbling on about?”
“You wouldn’t get it”
“No, no, do tell me….Mr Sooo Masculine, enlighten me.”
“Kheks. Chill…I just don’t like the show and I wanted to put one over you. Let it go.”
“No, tell me, what makes you such a MAN?”

Hey guys, guys, cut it out! What the hell are you doing?? Lets just enjoy the drink!

“How about we walk out of here and I smash your head? Would you get it then?”
“You smash my head?? OOO! I'm soo scared!”
“That’s right. I smash yours. You are the bigger one, I get it. But I probably had more practice.”
[stands up and walks out]
“Yeah walkout dumb ass. What else can you do?"

What the hell guys! Shut up already! Go get him.

“okay…I’m shutting up.”
“Yeah! Shhhhh!”
“Did you just shush me??”
“Shhhh”
“YOU DIDN’T FUCKIN SHUSH ME. DID YOU?? CAUSE IF YOU DID THAT THAT’D B BAD! REAL BAD”
“I wasn’t talking to you”
“I DON’T FUCKN CARE WHO YOU WERE TALKING TO YOU. YOU CAN NOT FUCKN SHUSH ME! IF SOMEBODY CAN SHUSH ME THAT SOMEBODY AINT FUCKN YOU! YOU GET IT? DO YOU GET IT ASSHOLE?”

THE HELL WITH YOU GUYS! SHUT THE FUCK UP! WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?? YOU GO AT IT LIKE THIS…I’M GOING THROUH A DEVORCE…I’M STILL SMILING…AND I DON’T SHOW YOU ANY OF IT…ANY OF WHAT I’M GOING THROUGH….

YOU PUT ON A SHOW LIKE THAT…OVER SILLY SILLY THINGS…YOU GOT ANY IDEA WHAT REAL PROBLEMS ARE LIKE??? YOU ARE THE ONLY FRIENDS I’VE GOT …WHY CANT YOU JUST GET ALONG??

Life is starting to feel like a badly made TV show. Only trouble is…the shit in it is a bit too real and you cant switch channels if you don’t like the way they play out.

Numbers catching up

Watched the red tail light of Masum’s bike go out the gate and disappear around the bend. The last time I will ever see it. Gonna miss that damned ride, if not the son of a bitch that drove it. Reality check - “Was he the last one?”

Shahed in New York
Romel in London
Rudra in Melbourne
Locha in Toronto
Masum left for Melbourne today.

Where was I?
Was busy with work but that’s not it.
Been attending society parties and drinking a bit but that’s not it either.

Whats been happening the last couple of weeks?
Been out of town.
Visited two dying grannies. (One died last Wednesday)
A cousin had a baby. (Good-looking baby boy. Ma, Pa and the baby are all doing well)
Noticed that my uncles and their wives don’t look middle aged anymore. (They look ‘old’)
Noticed that li’l cousins have grown bigger.
Turned 28. (Cousins found a gray hair)

Even with the electricity, the village still goes to sleep pretty early. Went for a walk along the highway at 2 am at night, hoping to find a tea stall open. Got jumped by some stuff I didn’t want to think about. Thought about all that stuff I thought I got figured out and how they seem to fit everything; life, love, God and the rest. Then thought about the 7 year old kid that died on that very highway some 10-15 years back. They’d just made the road; a real nice job too. The kid was tired on his way back from a fair and decided to use the side for a pillow. Wasn’t really the driver’s fault but he still paid the family 7k for their loss. Everybody cried a lot but they also appreciated the new CI sheet roof above their heads. Then I got back to thinking about the stuff that I thought I had figured and found out I had absolutely no idea what they were. I figured I should give ‘em a rest and just concentrate on not walking into the crap, muddy puddles and heavy vehicles on the way. Guess that’s the thing to do.

No matter how well you figure something out after a while you start doubting everything. You don’t bet on the voices in your head, the screams in your heart or whispers in the air, you only bet on numbers – figures and facts that you can see and touch and count. You start wondering if your made all that up – the signs, the Gods, the magic. May be the universe is just playing out the numbers and that’s that.

I thought I hit one of those spells when I don’t really feel anything. I’ve been feeling things all right and they’ve been scaring the shit out of me. So much so I woke up screaming in that morning. The numbers are catching up.

zombie walk

Doing the zombie walk again. Going to the office in the morning, coming back at night, going to society thingies on the weekend and sleeping away all the private time watching Scrubs. Think they aren’t as fun as they used to be but heck, they keep you hooked till 3 am in the morn and after that you feel pretty exhausted to think, feel or dream about anything else. That’s right. I decided to give myself a break and not think about anything for a change. Don’t really care what I’m trying to hide from.

Anyhow, things aren’t as depressing as the above paragraph make ‘em sound. The other day the boys and I came home around 11 and found Imran’s motor bike sitting there all alone in front of the stairs. The bike was locked of course but that’s just an insignificant detail that we chose to ignore. I guess Imran wheeled his bike in again easily enough. A lot easier than carrying it outside for sure. Still, think about parking your bike, locking it, going away for just 10 minutes and then when you come back its not there anymore and then you find it parked on the street outside the gate. You’d probably be very surprised, then you’d try to find out if the lock was broken, then you’d get all confused and try to remember where you had parked it in the first place. May be for a second you’d make yourself believe that that’s where you parked it when you came in cause you were in such a rush but wait a minute, YOU NEVER PARK IT ON THE ROAD! You’d probably look around a little, but there is nobody around. Spookeey!!!