Thursday, November 22, 2007

booby trap

“Say, cats and dogs really like it when you scratch their neck. Don’t they?”
“So does cows.”
“Yeah? What about goats?”
“I don’t know about goats.”
“So how are you so sure about cows?”
“You know, when you try to milk them, they’d make a fuss, but if you give her a neck scratch she’d stand still. So I figure they like it.”
“So, cows are touchy when people try to touch their breasts, eh? How about that!”
“Well, of course they are. People are not her bull.”
“But bulls don’t really care about breasts. Do they? Say, none of the animals really care about breasts. It’s a man thing! Isn’t it?”

“Hmm…”
“Well….but why?”
“Well…I dunno…they look good…”
“Yeah! But why?”
“Well…they feel good”
“I know! But why??”
“Heck! I don’t care! If it bothers you so much go find a flat chested chick and marry her.”
“I never said they bother me. I like ‘em too. But why?”
“Who the hell cares?”
“What are you saying man! If we stopped asking ‘why’ we’d still be living in caves you know. Nope! We’ve got to figure this out.”
“Well…may be it’s because you can…you know…fondle them”
“Huh?”
“You know…they are soft and you can with them and all.”
“Nope! That doesn’t make sense. Fat people are soft all over. If grabbing was the thing then everybody would be running after the fat chicks.”
“Well…I just dunno…”

We discussed the issue a li’l more over coffee but weren’t able to come to a satisfactory conclusion. So we decided to take it up with Proton, the cleverest one in the family. He heard us out and the first thing he says to me – “Tell me now, what exactly did you guys see on the way that made you think about it? Paint me a picture. Will ya?” (Told you he is clever.)

Anyway, he went on about how animals look for fitness, physical symmetry and proportions in potential mates but the issue wasn’t really resolved. (Surely, we can hardly call voluptuous women the most fit, or the most proportionate and still, they do have a universal appeal.) I guess I will just put it on my list of unsolved mysterious -

Why does the chicken cross the road?
Which came first, the egg or the hen?
How does a pair of round things drive a sane man mad so easily?

9 comments:

Morticia of Mirth said...

You like em' so much coz you can never have em!

Z said...

I'm not so sure about that morticia. I mean I got bigger tits then alot of woman out there. It gotta be something else ... eeemm

Kazi Rubaiat Imam said...

Morticia, thats exactly what John Cusack's character in High Fidelity said!

I also read an explanation by Jerry Seinfeld, who said coz breasts have concentric circles like target boards, so we get fixated on achieving it.

Morticia of Mirth said...

fullness, bigness, voluptuousness, oozing femininity, all boil down to fertility...'you getting fixated on achieving it'is just natures way of keeping the human race going……..which explains why Z’s “unproductive fullness” isn’t quite desirable, by men?

Weatherman said...

oh forget about Z,...he really isn't that full. :p

Morticia of Mirth said...

you would know best Amit ;)

Z said...

Don't hate me because i'm beautiful .. LOL.
Mors, not that it matters but I was speaking figuratively. Anyway fullness, bigness, voluptuousness .. keeping the human race going…… donno about that but I do love productive fullness and to get productive with them.

Weatherman said...

Yack! Now you guys are just plain dirty! :p

Morticia of Mirth said...

loving it!